Transcript
Scary Music Plays Brenda: '''That's the last net. Can we go home now, Dylan? '''Dylan: '''Come on, Brenda. I promised the Trickell's Triquid people we'd do a good job setting up for the tournament. '''Brenda: Uchh. I'm bored and sweaty. I hate manual labor. I can't wait for a time robots do everything for us. Dylan: Here, I brought some water. Brenda: Eww. I don't want any of that fatty-fat water. I want Trickell's Triquid. Dylan: Trickell's Triquid is water. Brenda scoffs Brenda: um, no. It's 100% diet moisture. You want me to look good in my bathing suit, don't you? Dylan: Man, you are in a crabby mood. Brenda: Please. You wanna see crabby, I'll show you-- Crab roars Brenda: Man Crab! Screaming Dylan: Hahahaha! Bren, where'd you get that? The giant fake crab parts emporium? Brenda: Ughh! Ughh! It's real! Help me! Ahh! Dylan: Ah, nice try. What's you do, dig a big hole under the sand? Brenda: Dylan! Dylan: Bravo. I'll bite. You got an air tank under there? Proof Dylan: Brenda? Come on. Stop jokin'. Bren? Gurgle. Crab Man pops out Dylan: Ahh! Introduction Music Scooby: Scooby Dooby Doo! Angel: Hey, this is K-Ghoul's Angel Dynamite, live from the Crystal Cover girl's volleyball tournament, sponsored by Trickell's Triquid, what mother nature drinks when she doesn't wanna look fat. Shaggy: '''Oh, boy. Like, what a crowd. I hope they saved us some food, Scoob. '''Scooby: Reah. Trickell's Triquid. Trickell's Triquid here. The nonfat liquid diet, no-calorie, gluten-free moisture supplement, now in wet and extra wet. Shaggy: Blah. Like we want some real food, right, Scooby-Doo? Scooby: Ruh-huh, Rike rhat. Velma: Ugh. Not that place. That guy's a freak. Shaggy: No. Like, he's totally cool. Just don't mention his nose. Velma: Hey there, Cappy. What happened to the old sniffer? Skipper Shelton: What happened?! I'll tell ye, boyo. That was a clam that took it. Fierce and mighty was he, and reduced me to wearin' facial underwear, he did. But I'll find him and I won't stop shucking till I do. Understand? Scooby Swallows Velma: '''yes, sir, Captain Admiral, sir. '''Skipper Shelton: It's skipper, Skipper Shelton, Clam Hunter and Waffle Griddler. So what'll it then skinny shanks? Shaggy: I'll take an extra large, please. Velma: '''Didn't we agree that you would cut out the junk food? '''Shaggy: I should, like, totally eat something healthier. Scooby: But--but--but--huh? Skipper Shelton: '''What about you, wolfie? Is it a cone stuffed with the fruits of the sea, or are ye afraid? '''Scooby: Ay Ay skipper. No fear. Two cones here. Fred: Mmm. Those look good. A big salty clam would sure go great with this heat. You want one, Daph? Daphne: No! Fred, you know what happens when I get near seafood. You remember my sister's wedding. I was so swollen, I couldn't even fit in the bridal airlock. Fred: Hey, don't worry, Daph. Those clams aren't close enough to cause you any trouble. Hey, Skipper, didn't uour cabin used to be over there, where the volleyball courts are? Skipper Shelton: Aye! Every time the town has an event on the beach, they move me buisness.Blast ye, city counsil! Arrh! Ehh, I need a clammin' break, watch me cabin. Shaggy sighs and slurps Fred: 'Come on. Let's get our seats for the first match. ''Velma growls at Shaggy '''Shaggy: Aw, come on, Velma. Can't I even look? Scooby: Wait for me! At the volleyball game. Velma: Hmm Velma slides right next to Shaggy Scooby: Rreat rame, huh? Velma: Yeah, great. Daphne: '''You know, we're still close to the water. All kinds of fish in there. '''Fred: Yep. They're so beautiful. Daphne: The girls?! Fred: No. Th-the nets Daphne: Nets? Fred: I wonder what their tensile strength is.They're nylon, absolutely perfect for traps! Daphne sighs Daphne: Feel like going for a walk? Velma: No one here's going to miss us. Everyone feels movement on the ground. '' '''Shaggy:' Scooby-Doo, is that your stomach? Scooby: Uh-uh, Rot rhy romach. Gasps Crab Man: '''Roarrr '''Daphne: Is that a crab, or is it a man? Shaggy: Like, it's a--a mab. Um, a--a cran. Scooby: I-it's a man crab. Man Crab runs to attack everyone, then runs away. Fred: We can't let that thing get away! Shaggy: Sure we can, Fred. All we have to do is stand right here. Scooby: Reah, stand right here. Velma drags Shaggy and Scooby with her Scooby and Shaggy: Yikes! Man Crab continues roaring. They go to follow where it ran off to. Fred: 'Huh? What? They're gone? ''Transition. Scooby, Fred, Shaggy, Daphne, and Velma are talking to the police. '''Shaggy: And then it kind of went, like, errh. And then yeesh and then--like dude, it had huge claws. Scooby: And reird ryes, like rhis. Daphne: Sheriff Stone, you have to close the beach. Peter Trickell: The beach stays open. Hi Peter Trickell, President of Trickell's Triquid. Velma: You can't just ignore a giant crustacean attacking your tournament. Peter Trickell: Ha! Clearly you never went to business school. Young lady, no one's sure what they saw. Could have been a man crab. Could have been a man lobster. Could have also been a really ugly, out-of-shape-person who should probably be drinking Trickell's Triquid. Sheriff Stone: Well, it's pretty clear to me that somethin' did happen here, and uh... there's nothin' I can do about it. Fred: But, Sheriff-- Sheriff Stone: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. We're not set up for this. Our motto is to serve and protect, not to serve and protect from man crabs. Fred: '''Well, you know what this means, don't you? '''Shaggy: We respect authority, go back home, and forget this never happened. Fred: It means we investigate. Shaggy: I was afraid you'd say that. Hoo hoo. Velma: I think our investigation's off to a good start. Daphne: A locker spilling sand? Velma: But look whose it is. Daphne: Skipper Shelton. Velma: And who wasn't around when the Man Crab grabbed that girl? Fred: He's so angry at the city for moving his cabin. He has a perfect motive for ruining the tournament. Daphne: What we need is a trap for the Man Crab, right, Fred? Fred: '''Actually, what I was thinking is...we need a trap for the man crab. '''Daphne: Humph. Good plan. Fred: Thanks! Daphne, you used to play a little volleyball back in the day, didn't you? Daphne: Well, I wouldn't exactly say, "play". Fred: You'll be perfect bait. I mean, what crab wouldn't want to drag you beneath the sand? Daphne: '''Oh, Freddie, that's so sweet. Sort of. '''Shaggy: '''You know, Scoob, before at this started, I really loved crab. Crab Brulee. '''Scooby: Rrabaroni and rheese. Shaggy: Hoo hoo hoo. Crabsicles. I can't talk about this. I promised Velma. I mean-- ahem. You know. I promised myself that I would eat more healthy. Fred: Lookout time's over, guys. Come see what I made. Here's the plan. Daphne will run across the sand to here, where the man crab will step on this plunger, and when he does, a big lid will spring up under him and dump him into that pot. Shaggy: Like, where's Daphne, anyways? The match is about to start, and Scoob and I have to get back to keeping an eye on the clam cones. Velma growls Shaggy: I mean, the skipper. Velma: I'll go get her Velma: '''Wow, whoa are you trying to impress? '''Daphne: Eh, what? This old thing? I've had it forever. I just wanna do a good job. Would you rub oil on my back? Fred likes shiny things, and I'm tired of him looking at nets. Velma: Hey, Daphne, let me ask you something. If you liked a boy-- Daphne: Who told you? Was it one of my sisters? Dawn. Heh. She thinks she's so perfect. Well, what no one knows is she has a sixth toe on her-- Velma: uh, what are you talking about? Daphne: I-- clearly not what you were talking about. Velma: Well, I mean, I'm just wondering. Do boys like it when you tell them what to do? Daphne: Heh. Of course, they do. Without my mom around, I don't even think my dad could feed himself. I remember she went away one, and when she came back, we found my dad half-naked and sucking on an unopened can of soup. Why? Velma: Well... I'm just working on a science paper. That's all. Uhh! Velma gets captured by the Crab Man Daphne: Did you say something? Make sure you get me between the shoulder blades, ok? When I burn there, it makes me look like a hunchback. Crab Man sprays oil all over Daphne Daphne: Hey, that's a little much, don't you thi-- Ahhhh! Help! Shaggy: No Skipper Shelton, but man, do those clams smell good. Scooby: Ro for rit, I ron't rell Velma. Shaggy: Oh. Well, I guess one delicious, chewy, briny, doughy treat can't hurt that much. Ho ho ho. Shaggy steps on trap door Shaggy: Huh? Eee. Daphne: The trap! Where's the trap? Shaggy: Like, help. Crab Man grabs Daphne Daphne: Aahhhhh! Fred: Daphne! Daphne: Fred! Fred! Fred: Daphne! Daphne! Velma: What happened? Something that smelled like drawn butter thew me in the van! Fred: '''It was the Man Crab. He took Daphne! '''Velma: '''Fred, just calm down. We'll get her back. '''Fred: We have to, Velma.I don't know what to do, a-and she was so shiny. Transition. Fred digs at the floor Velma: He's been digging like that since we lost Daphne. There's nothing but torn carpet all over the back of the mystery machine. Shaggy: Like, this is all my fault. If I never tried to be healthy, Daphne would be all right. Scooby-Doo , more. Scooby walks out with a tray of food. Fred: Someone needs to make a plan. Why isn't anyone making a plan? Velma: That's usually you, Fred. Fred: You're right. What's wrong with me? Doorbell rings Scooby: Uh, I'll get it. Huh. Mr. E! Velma: '''Jinkies! Get a load of this. This article's from years ago. It says four kids disappeared exploring the crystal cove caverns. '''Angel: Let me see that. Velma: Is something wrong? Do you know them, Angel? Angel: No. Sorry, it's nothing. Shaggy: Zoinks. Like it looks like the article comes with a soundtrack. They try to play the record. Fred: '''It's not working '''Angel: It's an 8-track, Freddie. Old school, baby. Mr. E: Hello, children. If you've read the article, you know this volleyball tournament isn't the first time kids have disappeared from Crystal Cove. Worth researching, don't you think? Transition to the library Velma: Welcome to where the library keeps it's old newspaper articles. They call it the morgue. Shaggy: The morgue? Like, why do they have to call it that? Hoo hoo. Scooby: Yeah. They're old articles, not dead. Velma finds a computer and turns it on. She starts typing Fred: There's a book over here. Daphne read a book once. And this chair. Daphne liked to sit in chairs. That card catalog over there-- Velma: Not helping, Fred. Fred: I know. What's the matter with me? Velma: '''Hmm. There's a piece on the founding of Trickell's Triquid, and here's one about the city moving the Clam Cabin the year those kids vanished. Listen to this: skipper threatened the whole town. He swore he'd take drastic action. '''Fred: Daphne was dastically taken. Shaggy: '''Hey, is this the rest of that article Mr. E sent us? '''Velma: Yeah, and check this out. It says the Crystal Cove caverns runs under the beach, where the volleyball tournament is being played. Shaggy: Like, I know that look, and it's never good. Hoo Hoo. They all go investigate the caverns. '' '''Shaggy': Yah! Shaggy: Like guys, I think I found something. Velma: What kind of Crab Monster would need stairs to climb up into the volleyball tournament? Shaggy: One that's very industrious and has a degree in engineering. Velma: The answer is "no Crab Monster". Fred: I don't care who did it. I just want Daphne back. Daphne: Fred, is that you? Fred: Now I hear her voice everywhere. And her voice sounds as sweet and as perfect as a trap snapping shut on a criminal. Did I say that out loud? Velma: Come on! They all go to find Daphne Daphne: Help! Fred: '''Daphne! '''Daphne: Fred! Oh, Fred! Thank goodness. Fred: I'm so glad you're-- hey, this is a nice cage. Scooby uses his nail to pick the lock and free Daphne. Velma: Let's get back to the surface before-- ahhh! The crab monster starts attacking them. Fred: Run! Shaggy: Run, Scoob! Scooby: Rhere is Rverybody? Shaggy: Like maybe they got eaten by a man crab! The man crab starts chasing specifically Shaggy and Scooby. Everyone else hides. '' '''Shaggy': Scooby-Doo, do you smell what I smell? Scooby: Rkipper Rhelton's Rlam Rones. Shaggy: Like, follow the scent of that syrupy goodness.That's the way out of here, Scooby- Doo. The crab man starts sprinting after them, destroying the stairs as they climb. Shaggy: Run Scoob! Velma: We'll go out the way we came in. A boulder is blocking the exit. Shaggy is trying to move it so that they can escape. Shaggy: Push! Give me all your paw. They escape, Scooby throws volleyballs at the crab man. Shaggy: '''I told you that would just make him angrier. '''Shaggy: Yikes They trap the crab man Shaggy: Yee-heh-hoo-hoo Scooby: Heh heh heh heh. Shaggy: Like, we got him! Velma: Good going! But how did you find your way out? Scooby: Ram Rones! Velma: '''You were saved by junk food? '''Shaggy: Like, what can I say? Junk food and me have a very special relationship. Velma: Maybe I should ask it for advice. Fred: Speaking of clam cones, I see Skipper Shelton isn't around again, or are you, skipper? Skipper Shelton: Ah, back from the laundromat, I am, And once more does me nose hammock smell fresh as the mornin' tide. Daphne: Wait. If you're not the man crab, then who-- Velma: Everyone, meet Bud Shelton. Everyone: Who? Velma: The Trickell's Triquid mascot. Bud: And the inventor, not that dirtball Trickell. Shaggy: Like, how did you know, Velma? Velma: I knew it wasn't a real crab, because Daphne never got allergic when she was around it. Plus when I saw that mole pattern on the cheek of the man next to Trickell in the newspaper, I remembered the same pattern on the mascot. Bud: He took the credit for my creation. It was supposed to be called Bud's Bloosh. I was still working on the name. I spent countless hours making the man crab-costume. And even more time buidling my system of trapdoors and the stairs under the beach. And in case anyone came snooping in between kidnappings, I hid my costume in a locker big enough to hold it, pitting a label with Skipper's name on it over the real label, so if anyone found it, they'd blame him. Daphne: All that work just to get back at Mr. Trickell? Wouldn't it have been easier and more legal to sue him? Bud: Are you kidding? Lawyers take forever. I would have succeeded too, if it weren't for you meddling brats probing into my crustacean-themed revenge scheme. Skipper Sheldon: Well, almost doesn't shuck the clam, does it wolfie? Scooby: 'I rave no rdea rhat rou're ralking rabout. ''Transition '''Daphne: So, Fred, Velma said you were kind of out of sorts when I got kidnapped. Fred: Yeah, that, well... Daphne: I think it's sweet. Fred: Really? Oh, that's so great. I was afraid it might mess up our friendship. Don't worry. I will never have feeling again. Daphne: Hmm we'll see. So, Velma, did I miss anything else while I was gone? Velma: Actually, yeah. Velma hands Daphne a piece of paper. Shaggy: What-- like, what is it, Daph? Daphne: '''The locket I found, the one with the picture of boy and girl inside, it's them. '''Velma: Jinkies. I guess we've got a new mystery on our hands.